I have to admit, I was a bit put off by having a medical appointment at my house. Would she exam me? Nah.
Right?
11am on Wednesday. As 11 am got closer and closer i became more and more nervous. Consequently, I gave my husband the guilt trip for not attending the appointment. He of course rushed right home to be with me.
11:15 and no midwife. Is she standing me up?
11:30 and the door bell rings. I open the door and a jolly, plump and seasoned woman holding a black briefcase smiles and greets me, "Hullo".
Rosie the midwife has arrived.
I'm pretty sure Rosie is a friend of Mary Poppins. She was just a bundle of jolliness.
After we made small talk with Rosie, she handed me about 1,000 pages of leaflets about pregnancy to read at my leisure and we got down to business.
I asked Rosie a lot of questions and said quite frequently, "Well in the United States..." to which she finally said, "i think in the United States they are a little more advanced."
This of course shut me up.
The appointment concluded with Rosie asking me to pee in a cup.
Ok. Not that big of a deal. I pee in my bathroom all of the time. I've also pee'd on many a sticks in that bathroom. I can do that.
After I handed Rosie the cup, in my living room, she opened it up and dipped a little stick in it. Iw.
Than she handed me the stick to dispose of.
Iw.
Than Rosie wanted to draw some blood. In my living room.
Iw. Iw Iw.
Her phone rang. Phew, saved by the ring cause that can't be very sanitary, drawing blood in my living room. What if blood got on my couch? Or the carpet?
Iw.
Rosie left in a hurry and to my dismay her main means of transport was not a black umbrella.
After Rosie left I couldn't help but think: are there no male midwives? and if there are, would they be called midhusbands?
3 comments:
There are male midwives and they are still called midwives. They are very rare. A male midwife delivered my first child, the one who is insisting on turning 10 next week, darn her! I remember meeting him once during my pregnancy for one of my antenatal appointments and thinking: "I hope I don't get him for delivery, he was lovely but I don't want a bloke delivering the baby." When I went into labour, he was on duty and I was SOOOO glad to see a midwife I knew he could have been an alien for all I cared. He was fab and if I could have had him for my second delivery (which was in another county and was at home anyway) I would have. I was very unusual in having a female obstetrician (the only one out of the six at that hospital) and a male midwife.
I've never met a male midwife in the U.S., but I'm sure they exist.
I couldn't use midwives for either of my deliveries, but I've heard that they're wonderful. I had an incompetent nincompoop for my first delivery and a fabulous male OB/GYN for my second.
Guider: You should tell her the full story of C's delivery! :-)
Yes, tell me!
Guider, you have one turning 10 also? Why do they grow up so fast?
Why were you allowed to have a female OB at your delivery?
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